Second String

I’m thinking a lot tonight about a poem I read about infidelity.  Written as a caution to men who want to cheat, it says something along the lines of, “you will lower her expectations but she will raise her standards.” I wonder about that. In a lot of ways,  I don’t think I’ve raised any […]


They say the cure for everything is salt water – sweat, tears, or the sea.  I’ve spent time with all three in the last week and I’m pissed.  Nothing is cured. Let me back up.  The one year anniversary of the discovery of Bear’s affair is less than a month away.  As it approaches, I’m […]

Feeling sorry for myself

I wanted to be able to post here that I received my settlement and everything was wonderful. I did get my settlement. I even made the appointment and am having my house plans drawn up.  But now, the banks (which have previously pre-approval approved me for plenty of money), are now saying that sure to […]

Well that complicates things …

I think I’m falling in love with Chief. Ten months after the death of my marriage, six months since Chief and I met, and I’m beginning to see signs that my heart has stirred itself back to life. It’s still broken, with jagged bits and edges, but I’ll be damned if that little fucker isn’t […]

I am really struggling. Having this setback with my settlement has brought me to a new low.  On the one hand, I feel stupid for yet again believing anything Bear has said. Whether he’s lying or he’s wrong, the effect is the same. I end up being punished, my dreams further away. On the other […]

What the actual fuck?

So yesterday I posted that I thought maybe, just maybe, I’d be getting my money soon and be able to move on.  Hey thanks for the kick in the vagina, Karma! Turns out I spoke too soon.  Last week a dude named Wayne told Bear’s employer that everything was in order and the check would […]

One Last Wait

I spent last week in Kansas City at a trade show with my business.  I had a good time – I always enjoy seeing the other professionals in my industry, many of my customers are now my friends, and even the hotel was lovely.  Sales were a bit slow, though, and that was more than […]